The Three Sillies (Gotham, J. Jones)

A traveller was taking refreshment with a farmer, his wife and daughter. The farmer sends his daughter to draw more beer from the barrel. Whilst doing so she sees a mallet up in the rafters and becomes fearful and sad that one day if she had a child with the traveller, it may come down here be struck by the Mallet and die. She stays there crying, letting the beer pour all over the floor. Mum comes and sees what's up, daughter tells her, Mum does same. So does Farmer. Traveller comes, turns off beer - what's up? Farmer tells her - they all cry louder than ever. Traveller laughs and takes the mallet down - if you are not the three silliest people in all the land, I'll come back here and marry your daughter.

Goes off, sees woman - turved roof, grass growing long, cow up a ladder to eat it, ties string round cows neck, down chimney to her wrist so she will know if it falls off. She's not stupid. Cut the grass and throw down? I'll prove the wiser... cow falls, hangs self woman up chimney chokes on soot.

Inn full twin room - fellow sharing hangs trousers from belt loops to chest of drawer knobs. Jumps in trousers "crap invention, takes an hour to put on".

Gang of Moonrakers - listen townie don't come 'ere tellin us we're thick just we ain't got a porsh accent...

Goes back marries daughter.

And if they didn't live happily ever after well that's neither your business nor mine.